Welcome to our first edition!
A UCLA alum recently called me an "OG" for the first time, which caught me off-guard since I graduated only 8 years ago. But it got me thinking about who I was back then versus who I am now.
The biggest difference? I was completely lost. I spent months copying other people's paths—not just trying different majors but serious stuff like passions, identities, and even values too—hoping something would stick. My thinking brain kept overriding my gut instinct that whispered, "You're only doing this because you think you should be."
Then I read Ryan Holiday's book "Ego is the Enemy" and discovered a concept called Euthymia—the tranquil confidence that comes from trusting your chosen path, even when the world feels chaotic. For the first time, I had permission to recognize that we're all on our own journeys, and what works for someone else might not work for me.
For the first time, I had permission to trust my own path. I hope this newsletter and community can offer you the same.
I've always believed the key to finding that path lies inward, not outward. So I'm calling this "You-thymia"—the practice of finding your authentic direction by understanding yourself first.
If you're reading this, you're already on your own unique path. You're motivated, you're thinking strategically about your future, and you're willing to put in the work. But more importantly, you're seeking something deeper than just "getting into college"—you want to understand how to navigate this journey authentically.
This year, we received 78 applications for our scholarship community—a 680% increase from last year—representing students from 19 US states and 13 countries around the world, from Lithuania to Zimbabwe to South Korea. These students came with impressive credentials: an average GPA of 4.0, involvement in everything from robotics teams and research projects to symphony orchestras and student government. They're founding nonprofits, competing in national science fairs, leading debate teams, and mentoring younger students.
But what united every single applicant wasn't their achievements—it was resonating with the struggle against "college-pleasing" and wanting to break free from it.
This resonates with what so many of you shared: "I want to learn how to tell my story more fully" and "I'm interested in discovering your authentic story—not just trying to sound impressive." One student put it perfectly: "I want to understand how your experiences connect" rather than manufacturing some perfect narrative that doesn't exist.
You've written about feeling "behind" when everyone else seemed to know what they were doing. You've shared your desire for "authentic storytelling" instead of "college-pleasing." You've talked about wanting "community over competition" and the chance to be part of "a space where students can support one another."
This newsletter exists to help you build that You-thymia—the quiet confidence to trust your own college admissions story, even when it doesn't look like everyone else's. Each week, you'll get one insight, one reflection question, and one actionable step to help guide and focus you along your path. No fluff, no overwhelming lists—just focused guidance that honors your individual journey.
For whoever needs to hear this, "you're epic, just as you are!" :)
This Week's Insight
The biggest mistake high-achieving students make isn't underestimating themselves—it's overcomplicating their story.
You've probably been told to "stand out" or "be unique" so many times that you're trying to engineer some perfect narrative that doesn't actually exist. Here's the truth: authenticity isn't about finding your one special thing that makes you different from everyone else. It's about being honest about what genuinely matters to you and why.
Admissions officers can spot manufactured passion from a mile away. They're not looking for the student who started a nonprofit just to have something impressive on their application. They're looking for the student who can articulate why they care about something and show evidence of that caring through their actions—even if those actions are simple.
But here's what I've learned from working with hundreds of students: most don't realize how deep their college-pleasing habits actually run. It's not just about the obvious stuff like padding your resume. It shows up in subtler ways—in how you talk about your interests, which stories you choose to tell, even how you spend your free time.
This Week's Reflection
Before you write another essay or fill out another activity list, sit with this question:
If you had to explain to your younger sibling (or a close friend) what you actually care about—not what you think colleges want to hear, but what genuinely gets you excited or bothers you enough to take action—what would you say?
Write this out in your own voice, like you're actually talking to them. No admissions-speak. No buzzwords. Just you, explaining what matters to you and why.
Keep this somewhere you can reference it when you're working on applications. This is your North Star.
This Week's Action Step
Audit your current activities and commitments.
Create three lists:
- Things I do because I genuinely care about them
- Things I do because I think they look good
- Things I do but I'm not sure why anymore
Be brutally honest. There's no judgment here—just clarity.
For list #1: These are your goldmine. Think about stories, growth, and impact.For list #2: Can you find genuine meaning in any of these, or are they just resume padding?For list #3: Time to make some decisions about what stays and what goes.
The goal isn't to quit everything that isn't your "passion." It's to be clear about why you're doing what you're doing.
Next Week Preview
Speaking of college-pleasing habits—next week, we're getting specific. I've developed a quick assessment that helps students identify exactly where their college-pleasing tendencies show up (and trust me, they're often more subtle than you think).
You'll discover whether you're the type who overloads on activities, constantly second-guesses your authentic interests, or gets trapped in the "perfect applicant" mindset. More importantly, you'll learn exactly what to do about it.
The assessment takes less than 5 minutes but gives you clarity that most students never get about their own patterns. And once you can see the pattern, you can change it.
Ways to Support This Work
📧 Stay Connected: To continue receiving these weekly insights, simply reply to this email. When you reply, you'll automatically be added to our newsletter list and receive all future editions.
💝 Optional Support: Found this helpful? This newsletter will always be free, but if you'd like to contribute toward keeping this resource available for all students, you can support on a pay-what-you-wish basis. Every contribution helps us continue providing guidance to students navigating this journey.
🎓 Join the Community Plan: Get access to live guidance, expert insights, and a supportive community of students. Our next exclusive session is this Sunday, September 14th at 9am PST with Andy Nguyen, Senior Assistant Director of Undergraduate Admission at UC Berkeley. The topic: "Authentic vs. Strategic: What Actually Stands Out to Admissions Officers."
This session (and its recording) is only available to Community Plan members. If you're interested, reply to this email and I'll share next steps.
Community Plan includes:
- 90-minute application narrative consultation with me
- Access to our Discord community with resource library and admissions Q&A
- One round of essay review (personal statement + supplements for one school)
- Weekly admissions office hours covering timely topics
- Starting in October: Alumni panels from Berkeley, Harvard, Cornell, Stanford, Princeton, and more
- Three exclusive fireside chats with Andy Nguyen (September, October, November) covering:
- Creating cohesive narratives from scattered activities
- Essay topics that work vs. what's overdone
- Extracurricular strategy: what actually matters vs. what students think matters
- Academic context: how grades and rigor are really evaluated
- Guidance for international students and special circumstances
🗓️ Need Personal Guidance? If you're facing upcoming deadlines for applications, scholarships, or summer programs and want one-on-one support, reply to this email and I'll share information about consultation options.
One Last Thing
Remember: the goal isn't to manufacture the perfect applicant. The goal is to present the real you in the clearest, most compelling way possible. That starts with knowing who you actually are, not who you think colleges want you to be.
Until next week,
Fei
